Hi

I have been missing 'talking' to you, I have been missing stop by here sharing my thoughts and feelings. Now I am back. I had to admit at some point I thought about closing this blog but I am glad I didn't do it.  I remembered the day when I first started blogging, after I read alliot's blog, didn't know on the web there was place of such beauty and inspiration. I was so inspired, thats how I got started,  a new mum in a new city, away from the life she was once familiar to. Then I got to 'know' many of you, all your wonderful ladies (you know who you are!) across the global, who inspired me, supported me. I am truly thankful.

It is so comforting to write here again, I should come back sooner. Well, what have I been doing in the past month. I started a new job. Lin Yu Tang, a chinese intellect once said in his book, My country and my people, we chinese are dreamers with one eye open. So my one open eye leads me back to the corproate world. I have not talked much about my profession, here I am known as Yanyan, the designer of Suvi Ainoa, the mum for Landon and Nea. But then I had a 'double' life, a 'real' profession as my parents calls it. And no, I am not a stripper. I was rather conficted when thinking of returning to the corporate world. It was a big part of my life, there are things I truly dislike but there are also things I really miss.

I love Landon and Nea more than life itself, I feel terribely guity that I am not there for them like I used to, but then I do feel have a life outside the house somehow helps me to be a better mum. I don't know if this makes sense to you, I don't know if this makes sense to me. Now more than a month has passed, we have survived, there were good days, there were days could be better.

Life is not easy, maybe it is us who complicated it. I don't know if there is an absolute answer on which is better, working mum vs. stay at home mum. All I know is we try, everyday we try harder, everyday we love them more...